Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Kate McCann on Amaral : ' I needed to see the whites of his eyes'

Kate  needed to see the whites of Sr Amaral’s eyes. The couple flew out to Portugal on 10 December.

Kate : 'Not sure how I feel about seeing Mr Amaral – for the first time ever, I hasten to add! I know I’m not scared but that man has caused us so much upset and anger because of how he has treated my beautiful Madeleine and the search to find her. He deserves to be miserable and feel fear.

We were warned of the threat of a demonstration against us outside the courtroom, and our Portuguese advisers, worried about our welfare and negative publicity, felt it might be a good idea if we stayed away after all. But if we backed out, the bullies would have won. We’d come here for Madeleine, and we had no intention of letting her down. Besides, we couldn’t think of anything anyone could do to us or say about us that would be worse than what we’d already suffered. In the event, this ‘demonstration’ consisted of two middle-aged women, friends of Gonçalo Amaral.

And so it was that on 11 December 2009 I first laid eyes on Sr Gonçalo Amaral.

It was also the first time he had laid eyes on me.

It is extraordinary that he could have said and written so many awful things about a person he had never met. He had obviously spruced himself up in recent months.

The moustache, gold chain and bulging tummy familiar to me from unflattering newspaper photographs were nowhere to be seen. Now he was sporting a smart haircut, nice suit and hat, and – an intriguing touch – a diamond earring.

I wasn’t afraid, but I admit that my heart beat a little harder and I clutched my wooden holding cross tightly as he walked past, flanked by his entourage. Here was the person who had been entrusted with finding our little girl and who had failed her – not simply by being unable to find her when he was in charge, but by then speaking out in a way that in effect hindered other people, ourselves included, from finding her.

I couldn’t stop staring at him.

It was as if I were trying to look inside his head. If the intensity of a stare could penetrate bone, I’m sure I would have managed it. What made this man tick? How did he rationalize his behaviour? How did he manage to sleep at night?'



Hiding of a cadaver...report from the investigation.

Read the book  and watch the documentary Kate forbids you to see !